Autopilot mode- An Essay
A human being seems to be like an organic robot. When a fully functioning child is born they are very much the same mentally. Some will grow tall and some will have a weaker immune system than others. But mentally all the neural pathways that have been developed in a 9 months journey will be almost the same. The first thing a child will learn would be gaining attention of their caretakers. For food or when feeling wet and would like to get dry again. They cry.
Even if they cant Perceive what it all means but observation of a fresh young brain which is hungry for neural wiring wants constant stimulus and whats closest is the family environment ( whosever takes care of the child). If they sees their mother being loved and father offering kindness,.,., These would be the 1st skills that the child would learn. This is not the case in maladaptive families. Controlling behavior and attention seeking is deeply rooted in human behavior, even in what they call religious families. Intellectually they might know, the mother, that we must not be harsh in front of her children. But mostly everyone is a slave to the unconscious mind. No body is making conscious decisions. They learn walking at an early age and since then they haven't paid enough attention to the walk or posture. Its an autopilot walk,., The body is working in an inefficient autopilot mode.
Whatever the mother and father learnt as child, they very mindlessly use those as facts. The answers lie in the core belief system of an individual. That person is playing a guessing game while the unconscious controls it. Every action is an impulsive action.
A father might love his wife, but he as a child had learnt that one can only receive attention from your loved one's if you cry or are rude to them. Intellectually the father /or the mother wants to express love but the actions are always overtly rude. This goes down to your core belief system. A father might impulsively hit his wife and the kid hated it at that time. Internally he or she has a big problem with it. The but series of events--- the conversation- the argument- the right- and one person dominating the argument by physically and mentally abusing the other or both doing the same----- it plays like a movie.
You might hate the movie but somewhere in your mind those images and series of actions have taken a seat. Intellectually you might know that acting in such a way might be wrong but the learned behavior as a child surfaces when a similar situation is experienced their later life.
It doesn't matter if later you regret it or judge yourself, infact the inner judge is at worst after a conflict. It tells you what you did wrong and suddenly you don't want to feel those unpleasant emotions so your inner dialogue, your thoughts, act in such a manner- you start focusing on your 'Perceived positive qualities' ---- by forgetting the controlling behavior or ignoring the controlling behavior that elated self judgement you started focus on only your good qualities--- why? Because it makes you feel good about yourself-- you don't want to feel bad- its a natural mechanism---- what we don't observe is that by focusing on these qualities we make an imaginary image of ourselves... Its a 'positive false image' of yourself/// that is the way you want to be seen. You assume that it's what others are attracted to. - nothing has changed really in physical life--- its just an imagination trying to compensate the negative feelings of your actions. All the actions are done on autopilot.
Even if they cant Perceive what it all means but observation of a fresh young brain which is hungry for neural wiring wants constant stimulus and whats closest is the family environment ( whosever takes care of the child). If they sees their mother being loved and father offering kindness,.,., These would be the 1st skills that the child would learn. This is not the case in maladaptive families. Controlling behavior and attention seeking is deeply rooted in human behavior, even in what they call religious families. Intellectually they might know, the mother, that we must not be harsh in front of her children. But mostly everyone is a slave to the unconscious mind. No body is making conscious decisions. They learn walking at an early age and since then they haven't paid enough attention to the walk or posture. Its an autopilot walk,., The body is working in an inefficient autopilot mode.
Whatever the mother and father learnt as child, they very mindlessly use those as facts. The answers lie in the core belief system of an individual. That person is playing a guessing game while the unconscious controls it. Every action is an impulsive action.
A father might love his wife, but he as a child had learnt that one can only receive attention from your loved one's if you cry or are rude to them. Intellectually the father /or the mother wants to express love but the actions are always overtly rude. This goes down to your core belief system. A father might impulsively hit his wife and the kid hated it at that time. Internally he or she has a big problem with it. The but series of events--- the conversation- the argument- the right- and one person dominating the argument by physically and mentally abusing the other or both doing the same----- it plays like a movie.
You might hate the movie but somewhere in your mind those images and series of actions have taken a seat. Intellectually you might know that acting in such a way might be wrong but the learned behavior as a child surfaces when a similar situation is experienced their later life.
It doesn't matter if later you regret it or judge yourself, infact the inner judge is at worst after a conflict. It tells you what you did wrong and suddenly you don't want to feel those unpleasant emotions so your inner dialogue, your thoughts, act in such a manner- you start focusing on your 'Perceived positive qualities' ---- by forgetting the controlling behavior or ignoring the controlling behavior that elated self judgement you started focus on only your good qualities--- why? Because it makes you feel good about yourself-- you don't want to feel bad- its a natural mechanism---- what we don't observe is that by focusing on these qualities we make an imaginary image of ourselves... Its a 'positive false image' of yourself/// that is the way you want to be seen. You assume that it's what others are attracted to. - nothing has changed really in physical life--- its just an imagination trying to compensate the negative feelings of your actions. All the actions are done on autopilot.
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